SITE REBUILD We are changing things up. Our walking information will be posted again soon. So sorry for the delay!
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We all have fears and for each of us they manifest in different ways. You may know the origins of your fear and you may know how to tackle it as you move through life. Personally, I am not so sure about where my fears root – perhaps there are many sources. Sometimes my fears will surface, seemingly out of the blue, at other times there is a predictability as to what will trigger this sometimes crippling emotion. I think the key is not whether we feel fear, but rather how we deal with it.
I have always said that it takes courage to decide to run or walk a marathon. Our first foray into this new realm can be intimidating, particularly for those of us who are not particularly athletic. We imagine the exhilaration of crossing the finish line, we covet the medal that will be presented by a smiling volunteer and we bravely decide that this is a challenge we will tackle.
Challenging a marathon is indeed a challenge – an enormous challenge that requires a commitment to courage that must endure through the months of training. I have coached many wonderful walkers and runners – some who persevered with the commitment to courage – many who succumbed to fear. Fear of the work involved. Fear of failure. And my personal favourite, fear of success.
It is this last group that has been on my mind lately – those of you who fear success. These are the people who desire the challenge but who throughout their training, and for no apparent reason, sabotage themselves. Now this group is particularly intelligent. They have a lengthy list of excuses that they will use to opt out of training and they are strongly committed to this list of excuses. “My work load just won’t allow me to get any training in this week.” “I can’t attend group training because its my husband’s staff party the night before.” “I am going away for the weekend with my friend who is going through a terrible divorce.” Lots of self-righteous excuses that bring work, friends, and family in as co-conspirators.
Now what is interesting about this group is that while they have their pat, self-righteous excuses, they don’t modify their training schedule to accommodate life’s other commitments. So this tells me that while they love the concept of the courage to decide to do a marathon, they are not committed to the courage. They love the admiration they get from others for the challenge, but they don’t love themselves enough to meet the challenge.
Now these people are easy for me to identify. But that’s because I have my own fears of success that whack me in the head on a regular basis. I know where they are coming from. I know the excuses. I know the technique of self-righteous excuses. But when it comes to trying to coach this person I find myself rather helpless to modify the behaviour. Sure I can nag you with fear of injury from lack of training, but in reality if you aren’t committed to courage I have little hope of reaching you. I must encourage but I do so with a low heart as I know what you are going through.
I have always found it interesting though that when it came time for me to challenge my first marathon I was committed throughout and life had to accommodate my training schedule – not the other way around. I trained for six months for my first marathon. Everything stopped. If someone wanted a piece of my schedule they did it on my terms. I wanted to cross that finish line. I dreamed of that medal – it motivated me through the hours of walking. I needed to feel the success of crossing that finish line, so I committed my whole life to keeping the courage to cross the finish line.
When I crossed the start line of the marathon I had my head held proud. Everyone was excited. There was a vibration humming in the air that was exhilarating. Everyone was focused on the finish line – 42.2 kilometers away! I zoomed out of the start with my normal zeal. I paced with my music and felt strong. The scenery was beautiful as I took in the sights of the city.
So it was somewhat of a shock when halfway through my first marathon, 13 miles, long before the usual marathon wall of 20 miles, my fear of success reared its ugly head. My cheering team was there on the side of the road, waving and smiling, yelling words of encouragement. After I passed them I started to cry. I was tired. I was in a city I didn’t know. I was hungry (which is pretty normal for me). I was just not interested in doing the second half! My pace dropped. I fought the tears -unsuccessfully.
Now being the analyzing type of personality that I am, I spent the next mile alternately crying and wondering what was causing this. I knew that it wasn’t because I thought that I couldn’t physically do the distance. Was it because I was lonely? I had trained by myself for months to find myself in this sea of people that I didn’t know. I asked myself many times “How did I get myself into this?” I so just wanted to go home!
Then I thought of the finish line and that wondrous moment when I would get my medal and “ding, ding, ding” the light went on. For some strange reason I was trying to sabotage myself into not getting that medal. People would see me cross the finish line. They would announce my name. People would be cheering me on. I wouldn’t be the anonymous walker that people saw walking the side roads of Nova Scotia. I realized that I didn’t want the attention.
Now how do you deal with this sort of fear? You either give in to it…quit the race…or tackle it head on and the hell with the anxiety! And that is just what I did. I tuned back into my music, selecting songs that peaked my pace. I threw myself into the event. Then a very long time later, I came around a curve and saw the finish line. And WHAM I got hit by an anxiety so strong that it knocked the breath out of me! My head spun. My feet lost their coordination. I struggled to move forward. I put my head down as the tears started. I pushed each foot forward laboriously. Suddenly it was as though I had cement blocks on my feet.
Many marathoners talk of a lightness that pushes them to accelerate once they see the finish line. This was certainly not my experience! It took all the courage I could summon to cross that line. My name got called as my timing chip crossed the first pad. The crowd cheered as I hit the final timing pad. Friends were jumping up and down with excitement. And I cried.
I cried with relief that it was over. I cried with pride that I had not given into my fear. It was hours later before I jumped up and down with the excitement of having achieved my goal.
Today the whole story seems totally ludicrous. Folks who know me will be surprised to learn that this is how my first marathon experience played out. And fortunately it never repeated itself. These days when I cross a finish line I am happy, excited, playful…and always very hungry!
We all have our fears. But again, its not about having the fear, but how we deal with it. I made a commitment to have the courage to cross the start line. At the time I just didn’t understand that it would take incredible tenacity to reach the finish line.
For my lovely friend Linda – Although I’m not there to push you through, I am always there in spirit, cheering you on!
I was reading a blog of a fellow personal trainer the other day. Tory was taking issue with the fitness magazines that were extolling the virtues of their 5 easy exercises that will give you a bikini body. She was feeling particularly venomous because she said that she could never achieve the models’ bodies with the exercises given.
Now we’ve all seen these articles. They can be found in every fitness and/or women’s magazine – and they are particularly plentiful right now because we can see the light of spring at the end of our long winter tunnel. As they eagerly remind us, we’re about to take off our winter layers so it is time to make sure that what is underneath is firm and tone.
I must admit that I chuckled at Tory’s reaction. It was almost as though she just saw – for the first time – the foolishness of articles such as these. And I understand that in her stance against these magazine she is advocating for the end to this ridiculous notion that as women we should all be these tiny, toned little wisps.
But Tory’s rant got me thinking about how I view these types of articles. Well, first off, I’m smart enough and experienced enough to know that the model was born with the perfectly distributed proportions that allow her to don a bikini and look picture perfect. I know that the reality is that if you are a pear you will always have a bottom out of proportion to your shoulders, and if you are an apple you will not have a curvy indented waist without surgery.
And secondly, I’m also smart enough to know that while the body pictured wasn’t achieved using those 5 exercises, those 5 exercises can provide some easy, manageable tools to help the average woman. Ignore the chick who is flogging the benefits of these exercises! Look at the content for what it is – a manageable plan to tackle an area of your body that you might not be so happy with.
You know, the problem with women is that when it comes to health and fitness we either ignore it or throw ourselves in so deep, we can’t help but drown. Follow me here… You decide that you need to loose weight. So you start counting calories with some computer program, you join a gym, change the way you grocery shop, stop eating out, walk more with the kids…you throw yourself in whole heartily. You do all the right things. But OH the work involved! All day long at work you kept opening up the food program to figure out if you can eat something. You take twice as long at the grocery store trying to figure out what to buy. The gym was busy when you got there after work and you had to wait to use some equipment. Supper took longer to cook because it was from scratch. The kids are grumbling because you said you would take them for a walk…and in reality you just need to go to bed to escape the madness of trying to live a healthy lifestyle. IT’S SO MUCH WORK!
Why as women are we so conditioned take we have to take a giant bite of the apple and then have so much in our mouth we can’t chew it or talk?
So that is why I like articles such as this. (Toss aside the misadvertisement – we all know that the chick does not look like that because of these exercises. ) Those 5 simple exercises give you something small and manageable to work with. Five exercises that you can do to tone your shoulders and arms. They will take 10 maybe 15 minutes out of your day. You don’t need a gym or fancy equipment. Doing these exercises won’t sideline your whole day – your whole life. They represent one easy manageable task that you can master for your healthy new lifestyle. You will see the benefits. You will reap the rewards. And once you have mastered this you can tackle some other area of your new healthy lifestyle. Maybe it will be time to learn to drink enough fluids during the day???
So don’t throw out the magazine – and don’t throw yourself in too deep. Tackle one area of your body that you are self-conscious about and take pride in your success…which by the way won’t show up for about 6 weeks, assuming you are following the exercise program three times a week 
I want to be heard. I need to be heard. When I have an opinion I want it to count. When I have an idea I want it to be tried. When I am sad I want to be comforted. When I am happy I want others to share my joy.
I want my co-workers to hear that I have a deadline and don’t have time to talk. I want my friend to hear that I had a great time with another friend and not be threatened. I want my family to hear my excitement about my new hobby and show interest. I want my hairdresser to hear that I dislike blonde hair and stick to the brunette shades!
Being heard by friends, family, co-workers, and the clerk in the store makes me feel respected, loved, and valued. I have been thinking a lot about being heard these past few days. How I react when I don’t think that I have been heard. How others react to me when they think that they haven’t been heard.
So while I was thinking about this concept of being heard I realized that I spend a lot of energy trying to be heard by others, but not enough time listening to me. Now to make sure you hear me, when I say me, I also mean YOU. I have a perpetual dialogue going on in my head. You have a perpetual dialogue going on in your head.
“I shouldn’t have slept in.” ” I should have told my friend that she hurt me.” I shouldn’t have eaten that cake.” I should have walked to the store.”
Lots of “should haves.” And while we say the should haves internally, do we actually listen to them? Do we act on what we have said or do we just say it without acknowledging it?
Along with the should haves we also have the justification conversation. “I hurt so I won’t move.” “I am tired so I won’t go to the gym.” “I am lonely so I will treat myself to ice cream.” “I am overwhelmed so I will have a nap to clear my head.” “I am frustrated so I will indulge in a chocolate bar to take the edge off.”
AND of course following the justification conversation the vicious circle continues with the guilt talk – the should haves. Our internal dialogue is very much as though we have nailed one foot to the floor and rather than taking steps forward in our life we just continue to walk in a circle. A perpetual, never ending circle of justifications and should haves, while we personally don’t move forward.
So while we listen to our internal conversation, we don’t hear it. We don’t see that there is a solution – to step outside the should haves, to step outside the justifications. If we hear that we are lonely, rather than heading to the freezer, we will reach out to family or friends. If we hear that we are frustrated we will confront it rather than run to a corner to eat a chocolate bar in quiet. If we hear that we are overwhelmed we will use nap time to instead write a plan to tackle what overwhelms us. If we hear that we hurt we will get up and move, gently, through the pain. If we hear that we are tired, we will go to to the gym to re-energize our body.
Why do I spend so much energy worrying about whether others hear me, when I don’t hear me? So to coin a Michael Jackson phrase,
“I am starting with the man in the mirror. I am asking him to change his ways.”
Moving forward I commit to honour and respect me first. I am on a mission to hear what I say.
SYSTEM CRASH. That’s what I get for opting to upgrade. So sorry everyone. I am working on getting the site functional and pretty again.  Jaclyn
There is a concept in yoga that advocates that wherever you are that day in your practice is perfect. The premise being to accept who and what we are today. We may not be as as flexible. We may not be as balanced. But we are perfect for today.
Now in truth I know that few practitioners actually believe and/or practice this. Having practiced in many studios I have universally seen competitiveness rear it’s ugly head. Eyes following the actions of others as they try to outlast their neighbor. Limbs quake and rather than release the pose and modify, stoically the student forces their body to do what it just does not want to do on that given day.
Now being a practitioner of yoga and knowing this concept – and truth be told embracing it – I will on some days opt out perhaps before I should. I bring this up as today is one of those days.
As I lay in bed this morning, contemplating an early morning walk before heading to my yoga class, I struggled. I could hear the wind blowing through the trees. It was dark and cold out there. Husband was peacefully sleeping beside me and I struggled with exerting myself in the freezing temperature or tucking in closer to the warmth his body. Yesterday I did 10K in a -20 windchill. I knew what it would be like. And I know that it will be like this everyday for weeks to come. Such is the life of winter training.
It wasn’t difficult for me to give in to the call of my pillow.
Now with the sun up and breakfast complete, I see the beautiful sunny winter day and feel the guilt for not having challenged myself to step out the door.
Another premise in yoga is that you should always be grateful for having come to the matt. The effort was made. Feel proud that you accepted the challenge.
So back to the guilt…I will cut this entry short as I have decided to go out for a quick jaunt before yoga class. I owe it to myself to accept the challenge and make an effort. It may not be my best training day, but I can say that I trained! 8:20AM
9:20AM WOW, am I happy that I did that! I opted for a 2K run to work on my cardiovascular strength and to help with my speed work. With the cold air it wasn’t the easiest thing to do, and I was huffing when I got home again, but I am proud. Proud that I got out there. Proud that I challenged myself.
(I topped it off with some hoola hooping which is terrific for building your core muscles and is just a happy, fun activity! )
Now it is time to head to yoga to clear my head and stretch out those muscles that otherwise will feel this morning’s jaunt. It is going to be a great day!
It seems that open season on pedestrians in the GTA has closed. No pedestrian fatalities in the past few days. For those of you who don’t live in the Toronto area, you may not be aware that in a 15 day period 14 people were killed by vehicles. In some cases the death was the result of the pedestrian’s actions, in others it was due to driver error. Either way all of these deaths were preventable. Police have ramped up and are now ticketing jaywalkers and pulling over drivers who turn too quickly, even if there isn’t a pedestrian around. Such a shame that it takes the death of 14 people to prompt the police to do what they are supposed to.
Whenever we walk in an area other than a protected trail, we run a risk – of being a target. Sometimes we make ourselves the target by not being careful. At other times we become the target because drivers aren’t vigilant. I think that walkers should adopt the same principal under which we learn to drive – defensive driving – for us Defensive Walking!
Defensive walking is anticipating that vehicles don’t see us and modifying our walk accordingly. This means that as we approach an intersection, even if we have a walk signal, we stop, look around to make sure that no vehicles are heading our way, and only if all is clear stepping into the intersection. Yes, this may slow down your time. But a slower time is more appealing than the option is it not? Think about what a car can do to your body. It could just hit your legs and break them. It could slam into your legs and throw you. Or worse your legs could get caught and pull you for a distance. None of these are pretty options. But truth be told these are scenarios that I keep in my mind whenever I am out walking. I make my living because I am able bodied. It would be very hard to be The Walking Coach from a wheelchair or worse dead.
The other day I was approaching an intersection. The walk signal had just turned. It was early morning and there was little traffic. As I approached the cross walk I saw a car coming up the street. I stopped and watched. Sure enough the driver just slid through the intersection, his head turned to see if anyone was coming from the left, oblivious of me on the right. If I hadn’t stopped he would have plowed me down.
Now most people would just take this a keep walking. Not me. I yelled. Profanity, but not trucker style, more lady-like,
“Heh you blind &%*#@&*#.”
Sufficient for him to get the message. There was no way I was going to let this driver put my life in jeopardy without realizing it. He stopped. Hung his head with shame. His expression clearly said that he realized I could have been another GTA pedestrian fatality. I strode on, very relieved that I had preempted an injury. AND I am hopeful that, at least for the rest of the day, he was more wary of how he drove.
Another Defensive Walking technique is to stay off the road. With winter here a lot of walkers, and runners, use the road because it is less icy than the sidewalks. This only works if you do three things. Here’s how to safely use the road:
1. Go out very early (pre 7AM on the weekend in the city) before traffic builds. Being on the road with cars is just stupid!
2. When you do use the road, use the left side – facing traffic. You need to see what is coming, in case they don’t see you coming.
3. Move off the road when a car is approaching. Yes, it will slow down your progress, but the fact is the road is for the cars, not pedestrians.
Another aspect of Walking Defensively is to dress the part. At any time of the day it is best to stay away from black clothes that don’t have any reflective material. You want as much of your body to catch attention as possible.
Use reflective clothing – sometimes it is built in to our clothing or you can add reflective tape and straps to what you are wearing.
A good way to see how reflective you are is to get someone to take your picture outside – in the morning as the sun is coming up or at dusk. The not-quite-dark light will trigger a flash on your camera and the flash will trigger your reflective areas to GLOW in the picture. Do this from the front, back, and the sides to get a clear picture of how headlights will pick you up.
I know that I will bring up safety tips over and over again as it is one of those things that really irks me about walkers and runners.
So here’s a thought for you to keep with you on your walks. Does it really matter if you’re right for being on the crosswalk with the walk signal if a car plows you down? Please remember…Being right won’t protect you from being hurt.
Coming back to a regular training program is always a challenge. It matters not where you came from…how disciplined you were, how strong your muscles were, how much you enjoyed it. Once you lose the momentum we are all the same. We all struggle to get our groove back. We all have to work at creating a new rhythm in our lives.
Just before Christmas I took a tumble down two flights of stairs. I still vividly remember laying face down on the floor, 20 feet away from the bottom of the stairs. I lay there wondering if it was safe to move. My knees and wrists had taken the brunt of the fall. I could feel the pain there. But my back was the concern. I remember twisting throughout the fall trying desperately to get a hold of the hand railing. But it never happened. So as I lay there the question in my mind was “yes I had hurt my knees but had I hurt my back?”
I was lucky! I came through it with some wicked bruising but no back issues. Again, I say I was lucky. But my knees were injured to the point that walking was painful for a few weeks. And it only takes a few weeks of required rest to lose your groove. I lost mine!
So it was a sad moment on New Years Day when I awoke and determined that I must go for a walk and then once out the door realized that it was not to be. It was such a let down. Yes I went back in the house and did a little workout to start the year right, but I so love to walk. I could taste the disappointment in not being able to go for a walk. Because of the fall it wouldn’t have been a powerful workout, but it would have been a walk.
Since the first of the year, I have been gently introducing my body to workouts again. My body is healing ; my knees still give out spontaneously and I still have fear walking down stairs. Walking is a key component of my life however so I have to keep moving. The distance of my walks have gradually increased. The speed of my walks has slowly increased. The rhythm of power walking as my staple workout is still unstable. Yet I know that I will come back from this. I will get my groove back.
As the end of January approaches the New Years Resolutions start to falter. The resolution devotion has lost momentum. We start off very excited about the potential ahead, but the reality of the time investment tarnishes our glow. The novelty wears off and our fitness commitments head to the back burner of priorities. Like me, many walkers are struggling to get their groove back.
I know I will get my groove back. I know that I will continue to find the means to fit the necessary training time into my schedule and with time I will regain the strength lost. I am sure of this as I have made this commitment to me!
As adults we tend to put our most important state – our health- behind all the other things that fill our life. Work, children, friends, hobbies…consume our schedules. When we allow this to happen we are cheating ourselves and those we love. To help those we love, to be a good parent, to be a good friend, to be a good employee, we need to give our best. To give our best we need to be our best. If we aren’t taking care of us first, how can we handle all of the other things and people in our life?
I will use the analogy of the air masks on an airplane. The flight attendants instruct us to put our air masks on first and then assist children and seniors. This is because if we are helping others first, we will pass out and not be able to help them or ourselves.
The air mask scenario applies in life with our health. If we don’t take care of our health then we won’t have the energy to take care of everything/one else. Think of this. What will happen to your responsibilities if you get sick?
Maintaining a fitness program is the simplest way to stay and/or get healthy. Maintaining a fitness walking program is an easy way to get activity into your life. You can fit walking into your life in manageable pieces. These investments of time mean an investment in your health and your continuing ability to care for those around you.
On Saturday I had my long training day. My time was great. My momentum increased as the kilometers passed. When I finished I felt great. It was the longest distance that I had done since my fall – 10Km. (Which by the way is my standard training day when I am not preparing for an event.) That all said, I was a bit sore. I also did hot yoga on Friday night and on Sunday morning. The Sunday session was particularly beautiful. It helped my muscles recover from the training session on Saturday. No more aches. My head felt clear, my body felt strong.
I still don’t feel that I have my groove back, but it will come. Weekends like this one just past reassure me that I am just around the corner from where I used to be. But like you each morning I must once again commit to make me a priority and find some time that day to be active.
With the onset of each new year comes society’s expectation that we set New Year Resolutions. Work out more, eat less, quit smoking…and on and on. We are trained to focus on our negative habits and make changes. Premise being that we have much to improve.
Me, I prefer to focus on what is working and ensure that this continues. Yes, I have vices but I am not keen on beating myself up about these. I know that as I strengthen in other areas, these vices will fit less and less into my lifestyle and will drop away.
Today is the first day of the rest of my life and I want to make it the best day that I can. So as I lay in bed this morning, tired from New Year’s Eve and desperately wanting to turn over and go back to sleep, I convinced myself to get up and go out for the first walk of 2010.
With music humming in my ears I stepped out into the freezing air. Immediately I was glad that I had made this choice. The freshness hit my lungs and all tiredness fell away. I love walking and the feeling of exertion in fresh air exhilarates me.
As I stepped onto the sidewalk I could feel my sneakers slide. Noooooooo! Oh crap! This had to happen. New Year’s Eve it was mild and raining but overnight the temperature had dropped leaving a thin sheet of ice on the road and sidewalks. Walking safely was not an option. I contemplated going back inside to put on my Yak Tracks but realized that the ice was too thin for this to be effective and it would just throw my stride off.
I went out to the main road to see if the pavement would offer some safety. In the early morning light I could see what drivers probably couldn’t – black ice all over the roads…groan!
So I opted for the safe way out and returned to the house. So much for my plans.
I am determined however. So I immediately headed to the Wii and loaded up the yoga program and did 30 minutes of stretching in my customized program. It felt great. Not as good as a 5K walk at a good clip, but heh, I made the best of being house bound.
Still I am sulking a bit. For those few moments before I felt my feet slide on the ice I was excited about my first walk of the year.
But tomorrow will be a new day and coincidentally, when I wake up on January 2, it will once again be the first day of the rest of my life and on this day I will strive to make it a best day.
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